{"id":3836,"date":"2015-08-16T09:59:56","date_gmt":"2015-08-16T09:59:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/zdvo.org\/unkategorisiert\/the-story-of-dudi-saido\/"},"modified":"2021-06-07T12:25:27","modified_gmt":"2021-06-07T12:25:27","slug":"the-story-of-dudi-saido","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zdvo.org\/de\/the-story-of-dudi-saido\/","title":{"rendered":"The Story of Dudi Saido"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
If there\u2019s something that upsets Border Police combatant Dudi Saido, it\u2019s when people ask him how he became disabled. \u201cWhen I say a car accident, they start with their comments: \u201cProbably drunk driving\u2019, \u2018You were probably stoned\u2019. But I say nothing. Except in my heart: \u2018Yeah, right, sure\u2019.
\nOr another one says: \u2018What, you flipped over?\u2019 \u2018No, a car ran into me\u2019. Sometimes I reply: \u2018A work related accident\u2019. Because if people hear what really happened, right away they lower their gaze, and start feeling so sorry for me. I hate that. They start talking to me as though I were a little puppy, that\u2019s when I really get upset. What\u2019s wrong with you guys, talk to me normally, in your regular voice. There are also those who call me a \u2018hero\u2019 and I reply: \u2018who\u2019s a hero\u2019? Heroes, you can only find those in graves. There\u2019s no other way to see it, I was just doing my job and got wounded\u201d.Up until the morning of August 11, 2003, Saido was just an ordinary guy: 24 yrs. old, living with his parents in Ariel, planning to rent his own place in Jerusalem, not far from his work place, planning to propose to his girlfriend of the past year and mostly: a tough man, eldest brother to his five brothers and sisters. But then, fate intervened: one of his buddies, a member of his squad, had begged Saido that morning to take his place in the next patrol scheduled for noon because he had to be in Tel Aviv for a recording. Saido, who at the time was serving as a career combatant in the Border Police, and normally no longer took part in routine security patrols, agreed without hesitation. At 3pm that afternoon, there were three in the patrol jeep: Nadim Harb from the village of Beit Jann (a Druze village in Northern Israel) who had just returned from his honeymoon, Dudu Ben Lulu from Holon and Saido, the driver. They were in Jerusalem\u2019s Neve Ya\u2019acov neighborhood when they got word on their radio that a terrorist was trying to infiltrate through the Kalandia Check Point\u201d.<\/p>\n

Saido recalls: \u201cWe were told to go there, set up a road block and check everyone arriving from the North, both on foot or by car\u2019. We had no idea what the suspect was wearing, nor what he looked like. When we arrived at the main square in Kalandia I already noticed Border Police crews carrying out spot checks\u201d. The last thing he remembers clearly is himself trying to back up and park and to the right of his armored \u2018Sufa\u2019 jeep there was a baby carriage. In the years which followed since that day when he opened his eyes at Jerusalem\u2019s Hadassah Hospital in Ein Kerem and until today he has relied solely on stories told by his friends who were wounded less severely than him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDudu told me that he said to Nadim: \u2018There\u2019s something suspicious about the baby carriage\u2019 , he opened the door and jumped out and at that same moment the explosion occurred. Dudu\u2019s leg blew off and he got shrapnel and burns. Nadim and I got head injuries. I remained seated in the driver\u2019s seat. People tell me I shouted \u201cMom, I\u2019m burning\u2019. I wasn\u2019t really burning, just my head was burst open and part of my brain had spilled out\u201d.<\/p>\n

Saido was rushed to Hadassah\u2019s Ein Kerem Hospital in Jerusalem. He remained unconscious and resuscitated for three weeks. \u201cThey declared me dead three times\u201d, he says. \u201cOnce they brought my parents into the room and told them to say good-bye to the kid because there\u2019s not much time left\u2019. It was then that my parents broke down, but then they were told my condition had stabilized and that I was out of danger. A second time something similar happened and a third time my father got a phone call: \u2018Come urgently to the hospital, this is it, he\u2019s dead\u2019. There were lots of prayers and I came back\u201d.<\/p>\n

However, returning back to life wasn\u2019t easy. This strong, healthy man became 100%+ disabled: the entire left side of his body is paralyzed: his arm 100%, his leg 80%. \u201cMy speech is not what it used to be\u201d, he explains, \u201cMy vision was hurt and I don\u2019t hear so well in both ears, either. My short term memory was also affected. Sometimes I find myself saying in the middle of a sentence: \u2018What was I talking about, or: What did you just ask me? But that was mostly in the beginning. Only recently did I get my driver\u2019s license back because at first I used to get epileptic seizures. It\u2019s been three years since I stopped having them\u201d.<\/p>\n

The month he spent at Hadassah was difficult for the entire family. \u201cI was tied down to my bed because I used to go crazy, trying to tear out the intravenous tubes. I had been the eldest brother, the strong one, always doing things for everyone, trying to set an example and suddenly, your sister has to shower you and change your diapers for you. Even today, subconsciously, they still haven\u2019t internalized my injury. As far as they\u2019re concerned they think I\u2019m sometimes putting on an act. Especially now that I can do a lot more on my own they say to themselves: everything is OK. But in fact, I\u2019ve become a very dependent person. It hurts that there are things I can\u2019t do\u201d.<\/p>\n

From Hadassah Ein Kerem Saido was transferred to the \u201cBeit Loewenstein Hospital Rehabilitation Center in Ra\u2019anana. \u201cI heard the doctors telling my parents: \u2018Right now he\u2019s bed ridden, eventually, the best he\u2019ll be able to do is get around in a wheelchair\u2019. When I heard this I said: \u2018I will not remain in wheelchair all my life. I used to go to physiotherapy treatments. I asked my therapist to teach my sister how to give me treatments and I\u2019d do the exercises in my room. After a year, I went home on weekends and got rid of the chair. Today, I still have the chair but I rarely use it. It\u2019s there and you never know, but mostly I hang on to it for long trips, certainly not for day to day.<\/p>\n

Beit Loewenstein was like a school of life for Saido, and not necessarily in the physical sense.
\n\u201cOn my first day at Beit Loewenstein, when my father left me and went home, I cried. Then he said to me: \u2018Listen, at rehab, you\u2019re on your own with your pain. This is a battle without any protective gear, it\u2019s your own conflict with yourself. If you can hang in there, you\u2019re a true fighter and you\u2019ll win\u2019. Until this day, that\u2019s my motto: \u2018Have faith in yourself, fight and you\u2019ll win. To get better, I used to walk the corridors at the hospital and read all the thank you letter people who had been treated there wrote. Then I\u2019d say to myself: \u2018If they got out of here, I will, too. I don\u2019t like those who pity themselves and say: \u2018Why did this happen to me?\u2019 In order to succeed in life one shouldn\u2019t always look for explanations of why things happen, but look at the present and from there grow forward. One lives in the present, but we look over to the past in order to succeed in the future. My psychologist gets upset when I use the words \u2018in the past\u2019. She says I make too many comparisons to who I was in the past. I feel it gives me strength to move forward because my reasoning is: \u2018I used to be so and so, so now I have to get better at this or that in order to get back to who I was before\u201d.<\/p>\n

A Border Police combatant, seeing a therapist \u2013 not exactly a natural connection.
\n\u201cThat was one of my problems. At Beit Loewenstein I thought the psychologist was just wasting my time. After six months I realized that you can\u2019t just bottle up everything inside. You have to unload. I began therapy and it took me time to understand that I really needed it. So what if I\u2019m a tough guy, a fighter in a combat unit. I learned that being a combat soldier has nothing to do with it. Everyone needs treatment, especially after what I had been through\u201d.<\/p>\n

In dealing with his condition, Saido decided about a year after his injury to return to the scene of the terror attack. \u201cI was with my Border Police commander and I said to him: \u2018Let\u2019s take a little ride to Kalandia and see what\u2019s happening there today. He agreed and we drove there. I noticed lots of things had changed, so much so I almost couldn\u2019t recognize the place where it had all happened. For example, following my incident they speeded up the building of the security wall. Sometimes, I drive to Jerusalem through there on purpose. There\u2019s something in my mind that tells me: Dudi, take a ride through there, see what\u2019s happening. When I approach the road block, I feel the blood rushing through me and my thoughts saying: once I was here under different circumstances and today I return not as a policeman, without my uniform nor weapon. But the civilian Dudi Saido has returned here, alive. I won\u201d.<\/p>\n

What do you know about the attack?
\nThe terror attack was supposed to have taken place in Haifa with an explosive device originating from Jenin. This intelligence was received by our secret services so the North of Israel was shut off with road blocks. The terrorists then tried to get into Tel Aviv, and since it was also sealed off they attempted to enter Jerusalem through the Jordan Valley. After that failed as well, they drove to Jerusalem through Ramalla, and from there finally succeeded in getting in\u201d.<\/p>\n

Where they caught?
\n\u201cThe terrorist who had set-off the device with a cellular phone was killed a month later in Hebron.
\nI didn\u2019t really care that much\u201d.<\/p>\n

During the 2006 Second Lebanon War Saido was in the midst of his own personal rehabilitation, and suddenly he found himself in a position to help others. \u201cI came to the families that were sitting at the hospital and brought them my photo album. I showed them how I was before my injury, how I was during my hospitalization at Beit Loewenstein and how I am today. I would cheer them up: \u2018Be strong in front of your son and don\u2019t show any weakness. If you project weakness, it\u2019s all over\u2019. Years later I met an amputee who told me: \u2018My parents said you met with them and it really helped them help me in my rehabilitation\u201d.<\/p>\n

In 2007 Saido lost his first battle when he tried to return to his previous place of work, the Police, and was rejected. His plight made it to court and was widely reported in the press. \u201cI was promised I would be able to return to service, but the Police physician decided I was not fit to serve. It really hurt. I had lived and breathed the Border Police 24\/7 and saw them as my second home. I loved my work, my colleagues and, suddenly I\u2019m told I\u2019m not fit for the job. I felt betrayed. After the terror attack the Commander of the Border Police had said: \u2018My men are the country\u2019s protective shield\u2019, yet he wouldn\u2019t take me back\u2026 It\u2019s as though someone said to me: \u2018You\u2019re worth nothing now\u2019. This is how I felt\u201d.<\/p>\n

Saido\u2019s claim was rejected, and today he is a retiree of the Police Force. Thinking of himself as such makes him laugh, but he did find another way to remain connected to the system: He takes part in delegations organized by the Police, he helps organize trips and parties for casualties of the Police Force and he gives lectures to soldiers in Border Police basic training. \u201cWhen I talk to the new recruits, I tell them that I dreamed of serving in the Border Police. Like them, when I first arrived at the basic training base I was in shock, but this is where I say to them: \u2018It\u2019s here that you will be receiving the tools for life and you will strive to move forward. I was wounded doing my job and you are here for the same purpose. After my injury I was decorated and the President of the State of Israel congratulated me and asked if I had any regrets. I replied that I would do everything over again exactly the same way\u201d.<\/p>\n

Eight years later, Saido\u2019s rehabilitation is still a daily struggle. \u201cTaking a shower seated on a chair, wearing Velcro shoes. It took me about four years to get used to using only one hand in simple things like: putting on your socks, wearing the brace on my leg. Putting on my jeans or buttoning my shirt. I asked people in my condition, and they said: \u2018Do it on your own, be creative\u2019. So I tie bags with my right hand, I use my teeth a lot, too. It was always important to me to fold my clothes neatly in my closet, just like in the military. At first it didn\u2019t quite work out but after a lot of practice with the help of my mother and sisters, today my closet looks like a soldier\u2019s. I have day treatments at Tel Hashomer Hospital and I arrive regularly at Beit Halochem to work out in the Fitness Room and for Hydrotherapy treatments.<\/p>\n

Recently, I signed up through Beit Halochem to the Wall Climbing Club and the Rappelling Course. I spend a lot of time at the Young Veterans\u2019 Club at Tel Aviv\u2019s Beit Halochem, going to their parties and events. Most of the participants at these trips and parties are disabled veterans, wounded in the Second Lebanon War and from Gaza\u2019s Operation Cast Lead. I\u2019m one of the oldest participants. Here, too, it gives me an opportunity to cheer them up. I know they arrive sad but leave happy\u201d.<\/p>\n

And who cheers you up?
\n\u201cI cheer myself. I\u2019m not one to share. Up until my injury no one knew my weaknesses. Only my strength. I was always the tough and funny guy. I have thoughts that lead me to moodiness but then I wake up and realize where\u2019s all this going to get me? In my vocabulary, the words \u2018if only\u2019 don\u2019t exist. They never existed before I was injured but all the more so now. \u2018If only\u2019 I hadn\u2019t joined the Border Police or \u2018If only\u2019 I hadn\u2019t taken the cab or \u2018If only\u2019 Nadim hadn\u2019t opened the door. It goes on and on. \u2018If only\u2019 are irrelevant words to me especially since good things, too, happened to me as a result of my injury. I\u2019ve traveled abroad a lot and seen the world, met lots of wonderfully amazing people, who have taught me that I\u2019m not alone in this new situation. I also got to know myself all over again. I never knew I was so strong mentally and physically as well, but mostly emotionally. Suddenly, I realized who my true friends really were. Already at the start, some of them distanced themselves. They said it\u2019s hard for them to see me like this, when they\u2019re used to seeing me differently. But to me that was just an excuse. After all this time I just realized I just didn\u2019t figure in their lives. They only wanted to hang out with me at parties and to have fun. It\u2019s no longer as much fun to be with me as before \u2026 we tend to label people and I\u2019m now labeled: \u2018disabled\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n

How do the girls accept you today?
\n\u201cThey hardly do. It\u2019s difficult for them to relate to an injury like mine. Easier for them to relate to someone who has lost an arm or a leg or even to a paraplegic in a wheelchair as long as the head and the brain remain intact. When girls hear my speech impediment or find out about the epileptic seizures, it turns them off. How can I explain to them the last time I had one of those seizures was more than three years ago \u2026 So I meet girls through friends and on Facebook. After my appearance on TV following my lawsuit I was also contacted\u201d.<\/p>\n

Do you see yourself marrying someone disabled? \u201cI don\u2019t have a problem with that. Any disability, except PTSD, that\u2019s really too difficult to deal with. I don\u2019t really relate to myself as being disabled, I rather prefer physically challenged. Today, I think that as early as at Kindergarten kids should be taught the difference between being called \u2018crippled\u2019 and being physically challenged. Being a \u2018cripple\u2019 is almost like a curse. It\u2019s certainly a negative stigma one which I, too, had used. Today, I know the meaning and think that children should already be taught that there are such people and this is how one should relate to them\u201d.<\/p>\n

Do you keep in touch with Dudu and Nadim?
\n\u201cOver the phone. Sometimes I bump into Dudu at Tel Hashomer\u201d.<\/p>\n

What about your buddy whose place you took in the patrol that fateful day?
\n\u201cHe took it very hard. He was scared to come near me. One day we got to talk and he said: \u2018I was afraid of your reaction\u2019. I explained that there\u2019s nothing to be afraid of and that I was never angry with him, that it\u2019s OK. What has to happen happens. After that I found out he had become a Born Again Jew and was now ultra-orthodox\u201d.<\/p>\n

(Translated into English by Ora Seidner \/ Photos: Ariel Bsor)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n

\n
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Up until the morning of August 11, 2003, Saido was just an ordinary guy: 24 yrs. old, living with his parents in Ariel, planning to rent his own place in Jerusalem, not far from his work place, planning to propose to his girlfriend of the past year and mostly: a tough man, eldest brother to his five brothers and sisters. 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